I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
