Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
