Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize