Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
