Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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