your thong is hanging out like whoa
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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