Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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