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is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
