He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
