Just cropdusted the office
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
