i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Liz is crying about burritos again.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
