hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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