So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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