What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
