By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
