you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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