Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
