I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I see more hoeing in ur future
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
