I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize