I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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