If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
