triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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