I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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