found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
