I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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