Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
