so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
