apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize