i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
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