Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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