I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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