I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
