Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
