Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
