I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
