Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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