and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
