I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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