I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
