Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
