woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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