I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
tequila makes me forget i have legs
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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