she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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