This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
