KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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