Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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