Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Randomize
