What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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