Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
