genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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