You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
