you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
We left an ass print on the piano.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
