no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
