No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
false alarm, still single
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
