question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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