I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
honey bunches of taint.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize