Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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