Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
