sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
how does that bad decision feel?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
