ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
