puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
foreskin is a definite game changer
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
