Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
farters have to be the big spoon...
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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