Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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