dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize