Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
