Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize